Because I Love You

Because I Love You

She cried and cried.
"It okay" he said patting her back.
"No its not! If I live you die!" she bellowed, pounding her fists against him. He stroked her hair lovingly and caught her fists. His hands were so much bigger than hers that on hand wrapped around her whole fist. "SHhhh, Shh, its okay. Its okay." He sat down on one the chairs in the row, pulling the hand the caught with him. He smiled ruefully and tried to laugh, for her sake. He pulled her into his lap, holding her as if she was a child. She fought his hold like a distraught child. He laughed slightly; some things never change, and loosened his grip. His laugh, even a small one, was infectious, calming her significantly. She tossed and turned till finally she seemed comfortable against his chest, legs curled on the chair next to them. It was silent.

"... Hey" he said in a soft whisper, leaning into her ear.
"Hmm?" She lifted and looked at him.
"Remember when I first found you? You were what, 6? Maybe 7?"
She nodded. "You were digging in the trash outside my building,” he continued. "I approached you and said 'I not gonna hurt you.' And do you remember what you told me?"
The woman smiled as she savored the memory, and almost laughed. "I said 'Mista if you come any closa' to me I'll cut you' " at that she broke into laughter. "You were so shocked when I pulled out that switch blade I thought you would run right then!"
"But I didn't. Instead I asked how you got that knife. I think you answer shocked me even more! You told me you got it from your gang!"
"Yeah and you were so scared" she said smiling.
"I wasn't scared,” he said in a slightly serious tone, as if she had offended him.
"Oh? You weren't? Then what was the look you gave me?"
"That was the look of my heart breaking," he responded in raw sincerity. She looked at him mouth agape. He went on. " 'Were are you parents? They must be worried sick' I told you. And--"
"I said 'I aint got any'" she said in a soft voice.
"MmmHmm. But you had spunk! I asked if you wanted to come and eat with me and you refused. Rather eat out of a trashcan than eat with a stranger. Which makes sense. So I convinced you to walk a block over and eat at whatever restaurant you wanted. And you chose MacDonald's!!!" he said making some grand motion, as if MacDonald's was the pinnacle of food, though she knew very well he loathed MacDonald's.
"Not just any Mickey D's, but the one with the big jungle gym. They don't let kids under the age of 12 in without an adult,” she said justifying the choice.
"Ahh, I see. You were using me"
"NO! I was--" he was teasing her she realized.
"Haha well, you played there till it got dark. And remember how badly it started to rain? You didn't even have a coat!"
"MmmHmm, but I don't remember much passed that. I was so tired, I was ready to fall asleep right there on the floor."
"I know. I put my coat around you and carried all the way you home. From the moment I wrapped my arms I around you I knew you were MY little girl." He poked her cute little button nose as if she were a small child again. She giggled.
"And Man, was I in for it! I should've guessed that any kid with a knife would be trouble. I number of times I got called to come because you were in the office. Haha. I bet your principal had me on speed dial by the time you got to 5th grade!" He laughed teasing her. "Constantly rebelling, and barely trusting anyone, even me at times. But you kept it interesting. Like the day you brought me your first all A report card, or on Father's day you had called my boss and got me the whole day off and packed a picnic for us, all by yourself!" There was pride in the old man's voice.
"But I thought you said I was trouble?" she said teasingly, raising an eyebrow. He raised his eyebrow in a response that said 'so ya wanna go there huh?'
"Well you were! A lot of trouble...at times. Like the time when you got it in your head to redo the entire apartment without me, and broke the TV, not to mention got paint everywhere including your hair. Remember that?” He was laughing. She laughed with him.
"Yeah you got so mad. Hey remember when I dated that one boy? And you followed me on my date?!? Her father looked at her slightly somber.
"Yes. Its a good thing I did. He took you to a party that was way over your head, and I came in a got you as you as you called my cell."
"Why did you wait? Why didn't you just come in then and bust me?"
"I was waiting for you to realize you needed me. You learnt your lesson, didn't you? But you were never in any danger, with me close by, I would've step in before that."
"I know. Your my big protective and scary dad" she said both sincerely and jovially.
"And then there was the time you moved the car with out waiting for me and totaled it" he said changing the subject.
"And the time you snuck out to see a scary movie with your friends after I said no--"
"Yeah I couldn't sleep for weeks." she interjected.
"Yeah, and you scared to death when I couldn't find you! Or the time you threw a party when I was out of town. Or like when you thought it would be funny to drop a bucket of molasses when I opened the door."
"Only you didn't open the door it was the super for the building!!! The look on his face!" They both laughed hard, but then her laughs broke into sobs.
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry for all that I put you through. Don't do it. Please I don't deserve it--" She was about to say something else when the nurse came in. "Sir it time we prep'd you both for surgery".
"Sure..Uhh give us a minute?” He said warmly. The nurse looked at him then at the girl crying. "I'll be back in 5. With the doctor then we need to get started."
"Okay, not a problem. Thank you." The nurse nodded and left the room.
"Listen to me."
She didn't respond, but kept sobbing.
"Listen TO me!" He repeated in a loving and commanding voice. " I want you to have it--"
"But there's a chance that some other person can donate--"
"Who else, sweetie? There is no other way. You have O negative blood and don't have time to wait. My heart is a Perfect match. -O, correct size, everything. Its not your fault, you're heart is worn out. It can't take living anymore, but mine can. I want you to have MY heart." She locked her eyes with his.
"I've lived and long life and your not even 30 yet. You have a whole life to live! I’m--I'm ready to die" A small tear rolled down his cheek, she reached up and wiped it away.
"Okay." she whispered. He leaned over and kissed her gently on the forehead.
Just then the doctor rushed in. "We need to get started,” he said.  The room turned chaotic. Nurses everywhere, directions and orders being barked. Before she knew it she was on a gurney, prep'd and ready for a heart transplant. The doctor put was about to put a sleeping mask with anesthetic when suddenly
"WAIT!! Wait--" she yelled. Before she could signal him he was at her side."What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asked, crunching down so he was level with he gurney.
"Why'd you do it? All of it? I was an orphan, I brought you so much pain, you could've left me there, but you took me in. Why?" He grinned ruefully at her, taking her hand.
"Haven't you got it through your thick skull by now? I love you. I took you in, I raised you, I'm giving you my life all of it, BECAUSE, I Love you." Tears had formed in both their eyes.
"Thank you and I love you to, Daddy".
The put him on a gurney next to her and wheeled them out, hands still together.